NEET is a term that has been permanent in my life for the last four years. The national eligibility cum entrance test is a pre-med exam to get admission in some good medical colleges to pursue MBBS. Every year almost 16 lakh students appear for the examination while the seats in government colleges are just 20000.
Like every NEET aspirant, I started preparing for the exam after my 10th board. I went to Kota and got admission in one of the most renowned coaching institutes. At Allen, the environment was completely different from my hometown. While I was considered a bright student in my school, In Kota, every single student I found was better than me.
But things don't end here. My scores were continuously decreasing. It was beyond my capacity to cover a vast syllabus before my test. The situation was so devastating when my 11th grade ended.
Years advanced, classes changed my fortune didn't. Peer pressure, inferiority complex, and low scores continued as one more year ended. But I was not the only one, my friends were also dealing with similar issues. We all were unable to understand what was happening to us. We were trying our besthbut it didn't even make a slight difference in our scores.
Now, it was time for our 12th board exams. We all shifted our focus from NEET to board exams. I wasn't sure if I could make it this time as nothing was going right. And the result? It was haunting me more than the exams. You know right? your relatives and neighbors will call you and judge you based on your marks. However in the end, somehow I managed to get near about 90%.
I chose bio stream for my 11th and 12th grade and hence, had limited career options. There is no good-paying job except being a doctor. Moreover, it is so difficult for a middle-class family to afford the fees of a private medical college. Therefore, I decided to take a 1-year drop and come back to my hometown. I took online coaching and gave all that I could. This period was full of anxiety, depression, fear, struggle, and hard work. Every day I used to study for 12 hours. I didn't care about anything else.
The Exam day came or I should call it the doomsday. It was a horrible experience, I wasn't even able to complete my paper. Despite all odds, I was able to score 97 percentile but it was not enough to get a seat in any of the government medical colleges. Though my parents didn't say anything to me, I could see the disappointment in their eyes.
I'm still on the journey. This is my second drop year, I have stopped attending family functions or hanging out with my friends. I don't want myself to be judged and compared with others. All I know is this time I won't let my parents down and I hope to add the prefix Dr. to my name.
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