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Divorce rates have soared to new heights, breaking all previous records in the Pandemic

Pandemic was a surprise and unexpected confinement into the four walls of the house for all of us. Many families expected it as an ideal time to spend quality time with each other. Several couples tried to recapture the magic in their relationships. But for many women, it was the worst nightmare. During the Pandemic tons of women protection, cells started receiving daily complaints of being attacked by husbands and asking for counseling and immediate help. Many Women would complain of husbands getting home drunk and beating them up. A woman even said that her husband was threatening to throw her kid downstairs.

Why did the Pandemic hit it hard? Was it the Pandemic, or was it the fragile relation that took a toll?

Pandemic was a rough year. Couples were not only dealing with little misunderstandings, but also with a variety of stressors such as an intensive workload, a sudden firm closure, unemployment, parents falling ill, loss of personal space, and so on. It required immense patience, courage, and understanding to go through the tough time. Supportive partners are hard to find. The frustrations that fight everything lead to the destruction of mental peace. When asked about the decision of separation from a 35-year-old England corporate employee, she said that she had to end the marriage as it was nerve-wracking for her.

 Usually, most marriages synchronize in compromises. Pre Lockdown period was clouding up the misunderstandings as the couples barely had a few hours together. They both realized their marriage was not going well, but they attempted to go with the flow. However, reality slammed them hard when the pandemic arrived, confining them within small rooms and long hours under one roof. Most of them realized that they were not compatible at all. They are poles apart, and living together and tolerating each other’s behavior is taxing and taking a toll on them.


Why are we still hesitant to divorce an unpleasant marriage?

For the people who are reading this, the above question might have said it all. Deep inside, you know very well that you are not happy. The stigma attached to divorce in society, the fear of falling in love again, and the dread of losing family give birth to the hesitancy to divorce. We know all the deep thoughts and insecurities you have when you hear the word Divorce. But do you think that this adjustment this compromise for the next 20 to 25 years is all that you deserve? Don’t you feel that you deserve to be out of these abusive relations? Don’t you think you as an individual have the right to live a happy life with a caring person who is crazy to live with you? Why do you think you deserve less love? Let me tell you- love starts within us. We should learn to respect and love our soul, then only we can expect others to treat us with respect. Any relation which is demotivating, caging, driving out your mental peace, abusive, toxic is not worth of effort. Life is much more than that.

Who are the victims here?

The children are the victims in a married marriage with children. Here, the importance of having children comes into play. So, when is the best time to start a family? Is it when society forces you to do something? Is it when your parents and relatives torture you with emotional drama, endless questioning, and gratifying requests? Is it just when you look at your friend’s kid and find them cute? Or is it when you are financially sound? The actual answer to this is having a child when you are really in a happy and understanding phase with your partner. The child should understand the meaning of love from your bond. When the child is in your presence, he should feel as if he is in the vicinity of a heavenly, caring, and loving space. Bring a child into this world when you both attain emotional and financial stability. Think of a child when you are ready for the responsibility of bringing a kid to this universe. Remember that the child owes you nothing, and you owe them everything because it always was your decision to bring your child into this world.


How to handle kids in a separated marriage?

Handle them with utmost sincerity and love. Make them understand that you have separated for a better cause and do not have any personal enmity for each other. Do not try to inculcate poisonous feelings in children for their parents. You must be the most mature person in the room and instill the virtues of respect, personal space, and trust in the children. Take them on a friendly excursion if they feel discouraged. Have a grown sense of mutual understanding for the future of your child. Instill in them the value of love and compassion in their relationships. We frequently see children of divorce succumbing to insecurities. They generally develop various insecurities and fears about a marriage seeing the past of their parents. Educate them that some people are better staying apart than being together. Sometimes two people are better as individuals than as a pair. Making compromises and remaining together simply for the kids is not the best method to hide a terrible and unhappy marriage.

Ways to identify a toxic marriage

Well, maximum individuals feel stuck after getting into unhappy marriages. Society shames divorcees a lot. The divorce is difficult enough, but they also have to deal with societal abuse, including social media attacks shaming, and blaming them. Moreover, divorce in itself has a lot of thinking required. Women who are not financially independent stay and suffer the worse of all because they feel helpless. They might have left careers midway, and now nobody will give them jobs after gaps. These instances make them vulnerable to abuse. The most important question to ask yourself is your relationship has trust or respect for each other? Do you think that your child deserves a family environment devoid of love, mutual respect, and understanding? Do you want your child to bear the misery of abuse and fights? Don’t you think that above all societal judgments, parental pressure, you deserve happiness, and you deserve to be respected? Marriage isn’t a one-sided institution. It’s more of a partnership between two like-minded people who equally have to put constant effort into working out a healthy relationship.


Gone are the days where men were the breadwinners of the household. Today we have women who are working equally hard and excelling in various fields. Women require support to expand their domain. They no more dream of a happy married life. They also have the right to dream and achieve a bright career and professional life as well. Everyone must remember that the objective of partnerships is to improve and contribute to the quality of life by adding components such as love, care, contentment, and happiness. However, if your relationship is bringing you misery, tears, and regrets, it's not worth anything.

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Tags: #love #marriage #abuse #divorce #relationshipadvise #relationship


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