Dark, mysterious, and sexy.The type of woman who’s smouldering gaze and allure is enough to command the attention of an entire room. All eyes are on her. She’s assertive and confident, independent and driven. She’s the type of girl who is in tune with her spiritual side and listens to Lana Del Rey . She enjoys the finer things in life; well dressed, in a darker palette and has perfectly manicured french tips. She is the woman that every girl aspires to be… or at least that’s what social media will tell you.
If you’ve scrolled through TikTok long enough, you mightt have come across at least one post about the dark, feminine aesthetic. It’s practically inevitable. Born out of hustle culture and the infamous girl boss movement, dark femininity has become the latest Gen Z trend everyone is obsessing over.
In other words, the reign of the sweet girl next door with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes has finally come to an end. Rest In Peace,You will not be missed.
Many of our celebrity favourites have become the poster child for this movement. The likes of Monica Belluci, Alexia Demie, and as expected Lana Del Rey, are perhaps amongst the most iconic examples of our time. They perfectly personify the definition of dark femininity.
In many ways, this aesthetic has an undeniable appeal. It preaches the importance of being independent, self assured, taking ownership over your life and ultimately becoming a better version of yourself. It seems to be sending a positive, empowering message, right?
There is no denying that,but if you take long enough to ponder over the long list of requirements to become an overnight femme fatale, you may end up reconsidering its benefits. Is taking on a fabricated conceptualisation of this new feminine ideal the best way to improve your self esteem? And will it actually magically solve all your problems?
Obviously not. Realistically, for the vast majority of us, spending each day ‘girl bossing’ whilst looking like Melinda Van Allen (Ana De Armas) from Deep Water is inconceivable. In our early to late twenties, we’re still trying to figure out how adulting works. There’s good days and bad days for everyone - and being sold the rhetoric that unlocking our dark feminine energy will lead to success and happiness, is just as delusional.
Impersonating as someone else to come across as desirable doesn’t guarantee anything.
Equally concerning are the videos circulating on TikTok offering dating/ relationship advice to young women. Apparently, it's all about using your sex appeal to be dominant over men. The goal is to make them obsessed.
Intimidate him, boldly gaze into his eyes, be silent and observant - don’t let him know what you’re thinking, always have the upper hand, never text first and keep your options open.
It’s so superficial and restrictive. These sorts of powerplay and manipulation tactics will not form the basis of a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Why are we encouraging young women to filter their opinions to impress men? Or teaching them that this is the only way a woman can attract a man,by coming across as standoffish and having a mysterious aura.
It’s a very narrow minded take on beauty and attraction. Unsurprisingly, it caters most strongly to women who already fit the conventional beauty standards - voluminous hair, piercing eyes, and pouty lips.
Judging how attractive someone is using the one-size-fits-all approach is wrong. There is no need to morph into a sultry siren like figure to be deemed attractive,just be comfortable within yourself and you’ll radiate confidence.
Edited by Carlos Martinez
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