She smiles with her pain,
She does it all just to see her child name,
She thinks twice before she does something,
She ends up bearing everything,
No wonder she is the mother because she is the only human having that superpower.
What is mom-shaming?
The one who bears every pain for us, the one who gave us birth, have we ever tried to ask her what she had dealt with all over, actually, with no hopes, the answer is no. being a servicewoman she had always listened to the jeer, oh pity child her mother didn’t give him time but this time she was a housewife but she again listened oh pity child he won’t be learning the things right. Nothing or less I am talking about a social issue that hasn’t got enough representative, “mom shaming”. Maybe you have listened to it for the very first time.
Mom shaming means when a mom or parent is criticized for the way of upbringing their child in society. A mom is openly criticized for the way of parenting. Mom shaming is done privately or publicly.
Why people do mom-shaming?
Our society from ages has created certain ways that how should a mom bring her child. every person in society has it's right or wrong but for a new mom that’s very difficult to handle the criticisms that people make on her, this challenge is tougher than we have ever thought, whenever we find a mom with her baby we start commenting on her, look how she handles her baby, she didn’t even know how to hold a new baby in a right way but have we ever thought about the mental health of woman after listening to all this criticism. we had made certain norms for everything and when a mom doesn’t follow them, we start criticizing her.
Effect of mom-shaming on the mental health of a mother.
This has almost affected the mental health of a mom in various ways. 70% of the mom are shamed for their child’s discipline, 52% were shamed for the diet & nutrition of their child and 39% were shamed about their decision of breastfeeding or bottle feeding.
In this era of covid-19 where everyone is at their home, the mental health of a mom is so affected just because 61% of parents said that they were shamed by their family members.
When surveyed 31% are their in-laws, 36% child’s other parent,37% moms own parent, 14% friends, and 12% other public.
When it’s advice and when it’s a judgment
No doubt that people may give you friendly advice and help you as a mother but they might be coming as jeer to you both of the things have a lot of the difference, one as a new mom may seek for advice from someone but if that comes without asking so it generally offends a mother, it’s very sensitive and disappointing to hear someone saying bad about parenting as then a mother becomes very insecure and feels fail as a mother.
There seek many how one might have done mom-shaming, like questioning her about breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, commenting her to stay home instead of getting to the workplace, correcting her about the ways how she parents her child, passing comments on her body, and asking her about the baby has started walking yet or not. raising a young child is a very raw task and when a mom is criticized over that it becomes harmful for baby and mother both as a result 56% of mom who was shamed decided not to criticize other moms as they had been criticized.
What should a mother do to avoid mom-shaming?
1.Don’t shame the shamers:-
Refuse any communication with the Mommy shamers, avoid taking revenge from them because that would keep the cycle going, they would lose interest in mom-shaming more quickly if they are ignored.
2.Avoid social media:-
Social media always shows a perfect life no matter what’s going in their life, don’t become discourages after seeing someone else, because you are perfect in your way and if does mom shames you on social media then just don’t respond to them or block the negativity straight away.
3.Don’t get obese over something:-
If you continue to think about what other people said to you, you will feel bad and it would affect your mental health too, your time and energy both would be wasted, focus on yourself instead of that and start living a healthy lifestyle.
4.Support other mothers:-
Every time you are mom-shamed instead of wasting your energy on the shamer, choose between not criticizing others and think a positive side of being a mom of all that respect and love you have for yourself by your child.
5.Use likeable statements:-
If you are the one who is the victim of mom-shaming, you respond to the shamers using neutral statements like thanks for sharing your opinion, yes I will do think about that or you can use statements like I don’t like when my choices are questioned, or maybe I will try to not to comments on others parenting style.
Mom shaming can be so disheartening and devastating but remember as things don’t last forever
It also won’t so try to focus on what is more important, like giving enough time to your child and focusing on parenting and don’t let others define you.
How to find closure for mom-shaming
Anything that affects you cannot be forgotten until and unless you find closure for that, that’s the part of healing. The more you have to do is start finding a new habit giving attention to your personal growth. For example, start working on your self-esteem, and if you are suffering from mental health issues such as depression and anxiety talk to your doctor. You should start avoiding social media. The only goal you should have is to try to refresh your thoughts with positive ones and start living a happy lifestyle.
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