On the 26th of December, my friend messaged me to hang out. Not having any plans for that day, I was excited and agreed to hang out. Unknown to us, we did not know what shege we were going to see.
Ha! Don’t mind me. It wasn’t that bad, let’s just say, our outing didn’t exactly go as planned. You know how they say, "we make plans and God laughs?" That was our case. Thankfully, after all the craziness and waste of money that happened that day, we were still able to sit down, have a good meal of chicken and chips and catch up.
One of the conversations we delved into was friendship. How you and a certain person can be so close and one day you realise you can’t even hold a conversation for five minutes with this person anymore. Yikes! How did it get to this point? You begin to wonder. She told me about one of her friends and how they had recently lost touch with one another, not putting in the effort anymore to make their friendship work.
How sad she gets every time she thinks about how their relationship turned sour. This friend was someone that at one point was "no longer just a friend but had turned sister". She could go to her house without even calling to tell her that she would be coming. I know this friend of hers and even without her telling me all this, I knew they were close. She had saved her name on her phone as ‘wifey’. This is not a title given lightly.
The reason for the fallout was a result of her moving to a different city and making new friends. Her friend got jealous that she was having fun with other people. Her reason shocked me because why would anyone fall out because of that? With how close they were, I would have never expected that their friendship would take the backseat due to this. But, then again, it’s always the little things that become powerful enough to tear up a relationship.
Their fallout made me remember the words of Billy Ray Cyrus in the series Hannah Montana. The sitcom aired on Disney from 2006 to 2011. And one of the best that aired on Disney might I add. Going back to our topic of fallout, there was a time in the sitcom when Miley and her best friend lily were not on speaking terms and her dad said, "some friends are for a reason and some friends are for a season". I’ve watched this series years ago, look at me saying years ago like I’m some old woman but, anyway, those words are hard to forget.
I have also had my share of friendship fallouts. There have been people I have been so close with back then and now; we barely even talk. And these are people I would never have thought that I would stop talking to just because of how our relationship was at that time.
Recently one of my friends called me and it made me reminisce about our friendship. When we were in university, the two of us were so close. We were course mates, we were staying in the same hostel, our rooms were not far from each other, and we even used to cook together. But, when we graduated, everyone went their separate ways. There were some calls here and there but at some point, it just stopped.
Going back to when I was in secondary school as well, there was this friend of mine that someone even thought we were sisters just because of how our friendship was. We're cool, but it's not like before anymore. I think it's recently that we just started talking more. In previous years, we barely communicated. And these are just two examples out of others that have happened.
In 2020, Selena Gomez released an album titled Rare. In case you don’t know who Selena is, she is a singer and an actress who is known for her role on Disney’s Wizard of Waverly places. She also dated the famous singer Justin Bieber who in my opinion, is one of the greatest pop stars ever. Argue with your emotions.
One of the songs in the album that became a personal favourite of mine is titled People you know. People you know is the perfect song that speaks on the issue of relationship fallouts. The chorus says: "We used to be close, but people can go from people you know to people you don't. What hurts the most is people can go from people you know, to people you don't". If you've dealt with friendship fall out. There's no way you would listen to that song, and not have it resonate deeply with you.
Friendship fallout can hurt, and it can hurt even more when you lose touch not because of a fight but a lack of communication and distance. Lack of communication is a major issue in any relationship but I don't think distance should be an issue in this age of technology.
I have friends that we haven't seen each other in years but our communication is solid. Then again, this just brings me back to what Billy Ray Cyrus said. Maybe those friends you fell out with were only meant to be your friends for that amount of time.
If that is the case, then having a friendship fallout might not be such a bad thing. Instead, appreciate the moment that you and your friend spent together and move on from the friendship if it’s no longer working. There’s no point hanging unto something you know is already broken. Make new friends and make new memories.
Edited by: Sean Mulryan
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