Parenting a child can be hard work and even more complicated when a child misbehaves. It is important that parents understand what causes their child to misbehave and what they can do to change that.
Parents with an authoritarian style have very high expectations of their children but provide very little feedback and nurturing. They are impatient with misbehavior and only implement punishments, which often involve spanking. They do not trust their children to make correct choices or give them the freedom to demonstrate good behavior on their own. Instead of building self-esteem, they believe that shaming will motivate children to do better. However, that can make children resent their parents later in life.
Parents with an authoritative style show love to their children, but also discipline their children. They listen to their children but also have consequences when they misbehave. Also, children will have a strong bond with their parents and have higher self-esteem.
The best way to get a child to behave is no begging, manipulation, punishment, threats, or giving up from the parents. For the parents, that means gentle discipline. Adults feel better when they feel supported instead of criticized. It is the same for children. For example, parents can say, "Stay close to me in the store so I can keep you safe," instead of saying, "Get over here or you'll get lost!" When adults are self-disciplined, children are self-disciplined too.
Parents should acknowledge their children's feelings and explain why they did something. For example, suppose a parent takes their child's toy away. In that case, the child needs to understand why and the parent can explain that they took the toy away because it is time to eat or the child misbehaved. Also, parents should explain the reason behind their rules so that their children understand that they want what is best for them and are not trying to make them miserable.
It is also crucial that parents always acknowledge good behavior. It will help kids have a sense of accomplishment.
Parents can give options to their children when it comes to behavior. They can reward good behavior and show the consequences of bad behavior.
Parents mustn't yell, shout, or scream when they are making a point. It is not effective or respectful and only causes children to get angry in response, breaks bonds, and causes them to be physically and verbally aggressive. Besides, they can tell their children calmly but firmly that their behavior will not be tolerated. If parents yell, they should apologize for it.
It can be bad for parents to punish their children because it can cause children to be rebellious. Instead of punishing them, parents can tell their children about the importance of good behavior and motivate them to behave.
When children become teenagers, they may feel a sense of independence that makes them rebellious against their parents. When teenagers see themselves as adults, but parents see them as children, it can lead to conflict and teenage attitude problems. There is a struggle for freedom and authority between parents and teenagers. Like children, parents can have compassion, love, and patience for their teenagers.
There are risky behaviors teenagers do that parents need to address. Teenagers may be having sex, drinking alcohol, or taking drugs. Parents can talk to their teenagers and explain calmly why they should not do that without accusing them. Teenagers might have peer pressure to drink alcohol or take drugs, and parents should teach them how to say no.
Teenagers may also be addicted to their phones. Parents should not completely cut off social media access. They should have restrictions on time spent on social media. They can also teach them activities that do not involve their phones. For example, teenagers can read a book or cook. When parents teach teenagers how to get off their phones, they start to learn how to understand them.
Teenagers may use swear words in relation to their parents. Parents need to stay calm and not raise their voices or say disrespectfully, which will only worsen things. There must be consequences to deter them from doing it again. For example, they may say swear words after their parents tell them they cannot go out with their friends or must clean their room. Parents should not give in after feeling guilty because they will teach their teenagers that swearing is how they can get what they want.
Teenagers may be spending time with friends who can influence them negatively. Parents can gently share their concerns without judging them. That will encourage them to review their friendships.
When teenagers do not respect or listen to their parents, they should ensure they do not discuss the problem when upset. Also, parents should not raise their voices when a teenager does so. They should be calm and less emotional. Parents also need to give respect if they want respect. Parents should not judge teenagers because they stop trying to hear their parents when they are judged harshly. Many teenagers behave as they do because they do not believe adults listen. Parents can say to them, "I'm here if you want to talk, okay?" Parents should also listen to their concerns because if teenagers feel that they are heard and treated with respect, they have an easier time accepting rules and boundaries.
Parents can show empathy to their teenagers. It does not make bad behavior normal, but it helps parents relate to their teenagers.
Parenting children and teenagers is not easy, but parents must be sure to discipline their children while considering how they feel. When parents discipline their children gently, they do not make them resent them but also correct their bad behavior.
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