Ah, the trial and tribulations of love. We’ve all tried it at some point. Recently life, feels a little less romantic and sentimental. I hear of more people breaking up than getting together. My friends are constantly confused about the situationships they are in. Well, the one new element in our lives we can add to the equation is technology. There is a potential that dating apps have ruined monogamy as we know it.
If you are polyamorous then fair enough. However, I hear a lot of people attempting to convince themselves that they are open to multiple partners at a time when they are not. The tears are the proof from when they get hurt. I am of the opinion dating apps categorically discourage monogamy. I am going to give you a few reasons why.
There are too many choices. Dating apps provide people with a catalogue of options to choose from. This abundance of people creates the mindset that there is always the challenge of finding somebody different and better than the last person you matched with or dated.
It creates a casual dating culture which is ultimately a culture I hear most of us complain about. This way of life is deemed as smart for when you are young and are exploring your options. However, for most people, the idea of eventually settling down and finding a forever partner is the end goal. A lot of dating apps are designed with a focus on casual dating rather than serious relationships. This encourages casual dating which is also a newer concept to this world. World War II romances are a thing of the past as waiting years for one person rarely ever occurs anymore, usually because there are too many options available to us through technology to wait. The options are advertised and pushed upon us. Curiosity gets us and we download the app. Your eyes will burn forever more from what you end up seeing.
Dating apps are far too accessible. An app is literally designed for convenience. You can look at your phone and click the screen once to access this brochure of future potential love interests. This adds to the culture of casual dating. When there is the ability to match with multiple users, there is less inclination to invest deeply in one specific relationship.
Dating apps are often used as a game. There have been numerous times in my recent life when I have heard others refer to dating apps in an unserious manner. The number of matches get counted and hurtful statements are often made to others across these apps. Multiple conversations take place. How can you keep up with them all? When was romance viewed as a sport? This gamified approach does not align with the commitment needed in monogamous relationships. Even when you go to delete a dating profile, the app provides you with a few questions as to why you are leaving the app. It suggests you stay and consider your match a little longer. At the end of the day, it is questionable whether these apps care more about money or people’s lives.
Finally, I believe that the culture around dating apps can heavily influence behaviour. Monogamous relationships are now out of fashion and polyamorous relationships seem to be at the height of fashion. People feel more ashamed to admit that they want love with one partner. I believe this is due to the sheer volume of various dating apps and the culture they advertise. At the end of the day, this is only one side of the argument. Take it as a typical romantic’s opinion.
Edited by Sanjana Srinivasan
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